You’re not lazy.
You’re not unmotivated.
You’re just… stuck in your head.
You think about what you should do.
You replay conversations.
You go back and forth between options.
You try to make the right decision.
And somehow, after all that thinking… nothing actually changes.
That’s overthinking.
And it’s one of the biggest reasons so many people in their 20s feel stuck.
What Overthinking Actually Looks Like
Overthinking doesn’t always look obvious.
It’s not just sitting there staring at a wall for hours.
It shows up like:
- researching something for days and still not deciding
- replaying the same thoughts over and over
- asking 5 different people for advice and still feeling unsure
- making pros/cons lists… and then making another one
- waiting until you feel 100% sure before you act
It feels productive.
But it’s not.
It’s just your brain trying to avoid risk, discomfort, and uncertainty
Rumination: The Loop That Keeps You Stuck
One of the biggest parts of overthinking is rumination.
This is when your brain keeps looping the same thoughts:
- “What if I pick the wrong job?”
- “What if I regret this?”
- “What if I mess this up?”
You’re not solving anything.
You’re just circling the same thoughts over and over, hoping eventually they’ll magically give you clarity.
They won’t.
Rumination creates the illusion that you’re working through something, when really you’re just keeping yourself stuck in the same mental loop.
Why Overthinking Leads to Freeze Mode
At a certain point, your brain gets overwhelmed.
Too many options.
Too many what-ifs.
Too much pressure to get it right.
So what happens?
You freeze.
You don’t apply to the job.
You don’t start the thing.
You don’t make the decision.
You tell yourself:
“I just need to think about it a little more.”
But more thinking isn’t the solution.
You’re not confused because you haven’t thought enough.
You’re stuck because you haven’t moved.
Indecision Is Still a Decision
This is the part a lot of people don’t realize:
When you don’t make a decision…
you are making one.
You’re choosing:
- to stay in the same job
- to stay in the same routine
- to stay in the same situation
Indecision feels safe.
But it quietly keeps you in the exact place you’re trying to get out of.
The Real Reason You’re Overthinking
Most people think they overthink because they need more information.
That’s usually not true.
You’re overthinking because:
- you don’t want to make the wrong decision
- you don’t want to fail
- you don’t want to regret something
- you want certainty before you act
Completely understandable.
But here’s the problem:
Clarity does not come from thinking.
Clarity comes from doing.
How to Break the Overthinking Cycle
You don’t need to stop thinking completely.
You just need to stop letting thinking replace action.
Here’s how to start:
1. Make the Decision “Good Enough”
You don’t need the perfect choice.
You need a next step.
Most decisions in your 20s are not permanent.
You can adjust.
You can pivot.
You can change your mind.
2. Give Yourself a Decision Deadline
If you don’t set a timeline, you’ll think about it forever.
Try:
“I’m deciding by Friday.”
Not “when I feel ready.”
Because you might never feel ready.
3. Take One Small Action Immediately
Once you decide something, do something that moves it forward.
apply to one job
sign up for the class
send the email
start the routine
Action breaks the loop.
4. Expect Discomfort
You’re not going to feel 100% confident.
That’s normal.
Confidence usually shows up after you take action, not before.
5. Stop Trying to Predict Everything
You are not supposed to have every outcome figured out.
Most of what you learn in your 20s comes from:
trying things
seeing what works
adjusting
Not from perfectly planning your life in advance.
If You Feel Stuck in Your Head
If you feel like you’re constantly overthinking, second-guessing yourself, and struggling to take action, you’re not alone.
This is something I work through with a lot of 20-somethings.
Sometimes you don’t need more advice.
You need help getting out of your head and actually moving forward.